Chapter I
I woke up sweating.
"Damn
that Axel." I muttered to
myself. "Messing
around with me like that and then
leaving.
What a jerk!" I looked at
the digital clock on my bedside table
and saw that it said 3:00 am.
"How the hell am I
supposed to
go back to sleep when I'm thinkng
about HIM!" I
shouted to no one
in particular. "No matter how many times
he tells me he loves me then
leaves, I'm still madly..." My
face
was wet with tears before I finished
the
sentence.
"Damn him,
making me cry like this. Why the
hell do I put up with his
mind-games in the first place? I
should just dump him and free myself
from this constant
torture. Why can't I
have the strength to do it, though?"
Tears streamed down my face as I
ansered my own question.
"Because
I love him. I love him with all
of my heart.
Why him? Why can't it
be someone else, huh? Why did I
have
to fall in love with the
biggest asshole on the face of the
earth?" I buried my face into a
pillow as I cryed my heart
out.
"What's wrong, Roxy?" said
Axel as he walked
through the door.
I threw one of my pillows at him
as I
screamed.
"Get the hell
away from me, you bastard!" I
paused
to breathe. "Do you think my feelings
are just toys
that you can play
with and then throw them away? I'm
really
getting sick of your mind-games,
jerk! Get the hell out of my
damn room!" I shouted, still crying
while throwing more
pillows at him. He
shut the door and walked towards my
bed
and me.
"When I tell you
do get the hell away, you don't
come closer to me, retard! You leave
me the hell alone!"
He sat on
the edge of the bed as he took
my hands in one
of his. I
struggled to break free as he used
his free
hand to lift my chin
and look into my eyes. I didn't
know
why, but I stopped resisting. He
let go of my hands and wrapped
me in a hug. I pounded his chest
with my fists as I
shouted at him.
"Why the hell do you
flirt with
all those girls? Aren't I
enough for you?" I spoke softly as
I looked up at him, tears still
streaming down my face. "Am
I just
your 'toy', or do you really love
me?"
"Roxas." He said, his green
eyes
glowing with anger."Don't EVER think I
don't love you.
Next time you say
you do, I WILL smack you across
the
face, got it?"
"You don't look or
act like
you love me half the time. You
flirt with all
those girls, and every
time you do, my heart feels like
it's going to shatter into thousands
of pieces. Do you understand
how much
that hurts, Axel?" I told him. I
rested my head
on his chest now,
and I could hear the thumping of
his
heart. His lips brushed my
forehead and I wrapped my arms around
him.
"I'm sorry, Roxy. I didn't
know you felt that way. You're the only one
that I've ever been truly in
love with. I promise I'll never do it
again,
okay?" I nodded and
breathed in the fammiliar smell of his clothes. I
couldn't believe how safe
and loving his arms felt around me. Axel lifted my
chin to his and
whispered in my ear.
"Do you want me to
prove that I love you, Roxy?" I nodded and he spoke again, but this time even
softer.
"Let me make love to you." I was
shocked. Every time I brought it up,
he said no. Maybe he still felt akward
because we are both guys then, but he
definetly wasn't afraid of anything,
because he flipped me over and pinned me
down with ease. He reached
underneath me and unbuttoned my shirt and pants. The
shirt was off in
seconds, and my pants were around my
ankles.
"No, Axel! Stop!" I said as he
stripped off his clothes.
"Why?" He
asked.
"I'm just not ready, all right.
Don't do it, Ax-" My voice was cut off
as Axel kissed me. Our lips moved
together and I changed my mind.
"Do it."
I said, my voice no more than a whisper.
"What?" He said teasingly." Didn't hear
you."
"Just do it before I change my
mind again." I said, my voice a bit
louder thistime. I clenched my teeth to
stop from screaming when the pain shot
through me. I grasped the edges of
the bed as Axel rammed into me repeatedly.
Gasps and sighs barely escaped
my jaws as pain constatly wracked my body.
"Axel..." I sighed."Oh Axel...I...Love...You...With all...Of
my...Being."
I let out a little scream as he pushed harder."I
know...It's...Unhealthy...To love...Someone...That much...But...I...Can't...Help
it...There's...Just something...About you...That makes me...Keep coming
back...No matter...How...Badly you...Hurt me...I always...Come back...To
you..."
"Say my name again, Roxas.
Keep saying my name."
"Axel..." I
said."Oh Axel...My Axel...Harder,
Axel...Faster...Axel...Axel...Axel...Oh
God, Axel...Axel..." I could barely
stand the pain now, and tears were
dripping down my face, but I kept urging him
to go faster and harder. After
a while, though, I could barely get enough air to
speak more than half a
word at a time.
"St...op...Ax...el...St...op...The...Pa
...in...Ca...n't...Brea...the...Pl...ease...St...op...Ax...el...St...op...St...op...Ple...ase...Ju...st...St...op...now...Ax...el!"
I screamed in pain as he continuosly jolted into me. The pain was so bad
that I
whished I could die. I couldn't push him off of me because he was so
much
stronger than me. He pinned my hands to the bed and countinued to push
harder
and faster. I decided to go to my last resort, for he was doing the
oppisite of
stopping. I gathered as much air as I could and
screamed.
It was blood curdling, and if
you heard it, you would have gotten
goosebumps. Axel stopped at that, and I
started to get my breath back while pain
seared through me and I cryed into
my sheets. I fainty heard footsteps thrumming
up stairs over my own
pain-filled sobs. The door was thrown open and somebody
stepped
in.
"What the hell was that-" Their
voice cut off as they saw
us."Ummmmmmmm, well, ummmmmmmm, yeah, this is
kind of akward. I think I'll leave
now..." He said as he backed out the
door.
"Leave, Axel. Now." I said, still
crying and naked.
He said nothing while
pulling on his clothes.
"See you
tomorrow then, I guess." He said as he left, slamming the
door behind him.
I didn't reply to that for multiple reasons, all of which you
most likely
have figured out, so I need not say. I was torn and in pain. I
couldn't
tell if I hated him or loved him in my current, agonizingly painful
state,
but in short; I know who isn't sleeping tonight. I'm in too much pain,
and
much to confused.
"Damn
that Axel." I muttered to
myself. "Messing
around with me like that and then
leaving.
What a jerk!" I looked at
the digital clock on my bedside table
and saw that it said 3:00 am.
"How the hell am I
supposed to
go back to sleep when I'm thinkng
about HIM!" I
shouted to no one
in particular. "No matter how many times
he tells me he loves me then
leaves, I'm still madly..." My
face
was wet with tears before I finished
the
sentence.
"Damn him,
making me cry like this. Why the
hell do I put up with his
mind-games in the first place? I
should just dump him and free myself
from this constant
torture. Why can't I
have the strength to do it, though?"
Tears streamed down my face as I
ansered my own question.
"Because
I love him. I love him with all
of my heart.
Why him? Why can't it
be someone else, huh? Why did I
have
to fall in love with the
biggest asshole on the face of the
earth?" I buried my face into a
pillow as I cryed my heart
out.
"What's wrong, Roxy?" said
Axel as he walked
through the door.
I threw one of my pillows at him
as I
screamed.
"Get the hell
away from me, you bastard!" I
paused
to breathe. "Do you think my feelings
are just toys
that you can play
with and then throw them away? I'm
really
getting sick of your mind-games,
jerk! Get the hell out of my
damn room!" I shouted, still crying
while throwing more
pillows at him. He
shut the door and walked towards my
bed
and me.
"When I tell you
do get the hell away, you don't
come closer to me, retard! You leave
me the hell alone!"
He sat on
the edge of the bed as he took
my hands in one
of his. I
struggled to break free as he used
his free
hand to lift my chin
and look into my eyes. I didn't
know
why, but I stopped resisting. He
let go of my hands and wrapped
me in a hug. I pounded his chest
with my fists as I
shouted at him.
"Why the hell do you
flirt with
all those girls? Aren't I
enough for you?" I spoke softly as
I looked up at him, tears still
streaming down my face. "Am
I just
your 'toy', or do you really love
me?"
"Roxas." He said, his green
eyes
glowing with anger."Don't EVER think I
don't love you.
Next time you say
you do, I WILL smack you across
the
face, got it?"
"You don't look or
act like
you love me half the time. You
flirt with all
those girls, and every
time you do, my heart feels like
it's going to shatter into thousands
of pieces. Do you understand
how much
that hurts, Axel?" I told him. I
rested my head
on his chest now,
and I could hear the thumping of
his
heart. His lips brushed my
forehead and I wrapped my arms around
him.
"I'm sorry, Roxy. I didn't
know you felt that way. You're the only one
that I've ever been truly in
love with. I promise I'll never do it
again,
okay?" I nodded and
breathed in the fammiliar smell of his clothes. I
couldn't believe how safe
and loving his arms felt around me. Axel lifted my
chin to his and
whispered in my ear.
"Do you want me to
prove that I love you, Roxy?" I nodded and he spoke again, but this time even
softer.
"Let me make love to you." I was
shocked. Every time I brought it up,
he said no. Maybe he still felt akward
because we are both guys then, but he
definetly wasn't afraid of anything,
because he flipped me over and pinned me
down with ease. He reached
underneath me and unbuttoned my shirt and pants. The
shirt was off in
seconds, and my pants were around my
ankles.
"No, Axel! Stop!" I said as he
stripped off his clothes.
"Why?" He
asked.
"I'm just not ready, all right.
Don't do it, Ax-" My voice was cut off
as Axel kissed me. Our lips moved
together and I changed my mind.
"Do it."
I said, my voice no more than a whisper.
"What?" He said teasingly." Didn't hear
you."
"Just do it before I change my
mind again." I said, my voice a bit
louder thistime. I clenched my teeth to
stop from screaming when the pain shot
through me. I grasped the edges of
the bed as Axel rammed into me repeatedly.
Gasps and sighs barely escaped
my jaws as pain constatly wracked my body.
"Axel..." I sighed."Oh Axel...I...Love...You...With all...Of
my...Being."
I let out a little scream as he pushed harder."I
know...It's...Unhealthy...To love...Someone...That much...But...I...Can't...Help
it...There's...Just something...About you...That makes me...Keep coming
back...No matter...How...Badly you...Hurt me...I always...Come back...To
you..."
"Say my name again, Roxas.
Keep saying my name."
"Axel..." I
said."Oh Axel...My Axel...Harder,
Axel...Faster...Axel...Axel...Axel...Oh
God, Axel...Axel..." I could barely
stand the pain now, and tears were
dripping down my face, but I kept urging him
to go faster and harder. After
a while, though, I could barely get enough air to
speak more than half a
word at a time.
"St...op...Ax...el...St...op...The...Pa
...in...Ca...n't...Brea...the...Pl...ease...St...op...Ax...el...St...op...St...op...Ple...ase...Ju...st...St...op...now...Ax...el!"
I screamed in pain as he continuosly jolted into me. The pain was so bad
that I
whished I could die. I couldn't push him off of me because he was so
much
stronger than me. He pinned my hands to the bed and countinued to push
harder
and faster. I decided to go to my last resort, for he was doing the
oppisite of
stopping. I gathered as much air as I could and
screamed.
It was blood curdling, and if
you heard it, you would have gotten
goosebumps. Axel stopped at that, and I
started to get my breath back while pain
seared through me and I cryed into
my sheets. I fainty heard footsteps thrumming
up stairs over my own
pain-filled sobs. The door was thrown open and somebody
stepped
in.
"What the hell was that-" Their
voice cut off as they saw
us."Ummmmmmmm, well, ummmmmmmm, yeah, this is
kind of akward. I think I'll leave
now..." He said as he backed out the
door.
"Leave, Axel. Now." I said, still
crying and naked.
He said nothing while
pulling on his clothes.
"See you
tomorrow then, I guess." He said as he left, slamming the
door behind him.
I didn't reply to that for multiple reasons, all of which you
most likely
have figured out, so I need not say. I was torn and in pain. I
couldn't
tell if I hated him or loved him in my current, agonizingly painful
state,
but in short; I know who isn't sleeping tonight. I'm in too much pain,
and
much to confused.